Everyone has been incredibly patient and kind as I continue these little stories this past month, so as a big thank you for your thoughtful comments and emails, I'm giving away a custom-made kids T-shirt...

A few months before my twelfth Christmas, my brother Jeff hung himself from a tree in our neighborhood creek, my dad went to alcohol rehab never to return, and, one dreary, rain-socked wintry afternoon as the holiday drew closer, I curled up on the family room couch with a notepad and a pen, making a voluminous list of all the presents and toys I desired that year...

Sitting on a puffy chair in the living room, a strafe of moonlight shooting through the window, Dana said let's just throw her on the floor and chuckled in the wasted shadows, while I pursed my lips for a moment, as if considering the possibility and finding it untenable...

I woke up suddenly, my lungs stuffed with feathers, as if someone had ripped apart a pillow in the night and shoved it down my throat. "I can't," I wheezed, trailing off only when I fell with a thump out of bed...

During one of the classes Dana and I attended before the baby arrived, the class leader, who seemed too young to hold a meeting on her own let alone have a baby herself and be able to speak from experience -- for all we knew the hospital was paying her $2 an hour and offering "freezer privileges" -- told everyone to bring an iPod during labor, some candles and maybe a nice lavender-scented eye pillow...