If it weren’t for these enormous, knob-knuckled sausage fingers of mine, I could have been a contender in the cut-throat world of felt barrette crafting.
A few days ago, Dana and Emmeline sat down to make some heart-shaped barrettes to give out to classmates on Valentine’s Day. Dana showed me how to do it, and I admit I was taken aback.
“That’s it?” I asked.
Dana nodded.
“Can you believe it?”
No, no I couldn’t. At craft fairs, I’d seen barrettes go for up to $15 or $20. Insanity, considering you could buy all the felt in the world for 99 cents. Cut out a design, add a cheap barrette between a felt sandwich and voila, your very own original hair clip.
But was it really that easy?
I tried my hand at a simple design and discovered that yes, yes it was. After a few attempts, I started taking requests.
Emme wanted a dolphin. That was simple enough:
Then she wanted a cupcake. OK sure.
At first, everything was cute and quaint and fine and dandy in magical rainbow daddy barrette land. Googly eyed modernist owl that looks like a baby shower vomited all over it? Don’t mind if I do!
Then Emme started to come up with requests that were a bit more … challenging.
“OOh!” she said, “How about Moby Dick?”
Oh.
It wasn’t all that challenging, except the whale had to be blue and the eyes “mean but not too mean.”
OK, literary leviathan done. It was time for mythology.
“I know!” Emme said, “Medusa!”
I admit it. This is quite possibly the first children’s barrette that looks like a blow up sex doll fell into a reptile pit.
I presented it to Emme and she frowned.
“Wow, thanks dad, it’s … nice.”
Then a sudden smile appeared on her lips and she turned to the kind of reverent, hushed voice that someone might employ when discussing the miracle of baby jesus, or Twinkies.
“How about Pegasus!”
Despite its enormous size, I was proud of this creation.
And it got me thinking: If I could shape a winged horse out of felt and thread, I could do anything …
Hmm, now that I look at it, it’s either the world’s first under-construction Death Star barrette or a one-eyed version of a traditional Dia de los Muertos catrina. I was going for Death Star.
Dana had a wonderful time mocking my skills, saying I was making giant-sized barrettes for a race of blimp-headed children who might enjoy hair clips the size of freeway billboards. But it’s these sausage fingers is what it is. When I tried to make them smaller, the felt slipped and fell and twisted away before I could secure it with thread. I don’t think these creations will be showing up at craft fairs any time soon — unless, of course, the market for miniature reptilian sex dolls takes off.
Hilarious! <3
if you put a drop of hot glue or fabric paint between the layers then you can make several barrettes at a time as you wait for then to dry, and then sew the already secured layers. and what do you use for backing to keep them from being floppy? when I made these for ella I used felt scrap booking stickers that had stiff backs on them to hold their shape over time…what do you do? these are super cute! I love the owl!
although the death star can’t be overrated…you should hold a contest for the sex toy. I mean, medusa.
I want one! That death star skeleton is just too cool!
I’ve seen people make some pretty good money selling these at craft fairs, including my wife!
I don’t doubt at all that you can make some pretty good money doing this, all while having fun. These were pretty fun to make. I meant to link to some etsy people who make some adorable barrettes for what I think is a really, really good price, considering the labor involved. Twenty bucks does seem like a rip off to me, but 3 or 4 or 5? That is more than reasonable for the work and patience and genetically perfect fingers.
If your wife has a web site, please feel free to drop it in the comments here. I’d love to take a look at what people are doing.
Thanks for the tips Tif! I just free cut all these and then used embroidery thread to hold them together. Yours sounds much better.
LOVE!
The blow up sex doll is my fave. Will you make me an adult version. That would go over great in London at Ascot!
xo
A
Love it! What barrettes do you like for this project? We have quite a few that always pull hair due to the placement of a tiny screw thing. Covering them with felt would be a kindness to my daughter, no matter what the shape or color of the felt.
The tiny screw thing is definitely annoying. Dana picked up some generic clips at walgreens but they turned out to be too big even for ME. If you can get them just a shade smaller than a quarter, you’re golden. But then you need tiny ass fingers to work the felt and thread.
Alysia, shipment of sex dolls coming your way! Definitely an Ascot fave.
Whales and dolphins are cool but MAKE ME A BICYCLE, CLOWN!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8eL4GHCDhE
Pegasus. You have out done yourself.
I want a death star too. These are great!
Doing this now. Great idea for Valentine’s Day, thanks!
Death Star, be still oh my heart. I have honestly never seen a Death Star, although I do remember seeing a Yoda one time. I still don’t know why I didn’t buy it when I had the chance. Major life disappointment. But now I’m thinking of making my own!
I’ll have to try some of these…so far my barrette making has only included bows. Very cute.
you kill me
Booyah star wars!
I laughed out loud at the Death Star. You are such a fun dad. I wish I could get my daughter to even brush her hair, let alone wear clips. Maybe the blow up doll sex toy would be just the ticket…
I just had to explain to my office mates that the reason I was wracked with spasms of laughter was because I’d seen a child’s hairclip that looked like (as you say) a blowup sex doll in a snake pit. And, um, I got looks. Uncertain looks. Looks that said: “where do we keep the official forms for lodging a written complaint regarding sexual harrassment/workmate nuttiness/hairclip jokes?” And it’s only Wednesday. Like, thanks Mike.
Seriously though, kudos to you. I especially favour* the Moby Dick creation (and never mind the pudgy fingers).
Cheers
Laura
*Australian spelling. I have to point that out because you’re a writer and therefore, probably a pedant.
You know there’s a huge market for all things Star Wars, right?
Or Trekkie, Sci-Fi…
I’m just saying that it’s cool to be a geek girl now & a booth at com-icon could make quite a killing of geek theme wear.
That was unbelievably awesome. I’d be making superheroes and Death Stars too if I had daughters. And that Medusa is, well, you explained it perfectly.
Dana just spent the past 24 hours whipping up 20-plus barrettes and sheriff’s badges for Emme’s class today. She had previously cut up all the shapes, needing only to sew them together, and brought the whole package on vacation. I promptly misplaced it and we couldn’t find it until the last day, so we had a family barrette-a-thon when we returned, with me cutting, Dana sewing, and Emme choosing the colors. I’ll post a pic soon about the first time she ever sewed all by herself — it was a magical moment. Thanks for all the great comments!