How I Got a Free Mattress and Loved It

So … here it goes.

A sponsored post.

I don’t know how to feel about it either.

I originally wrote this for a site I work for, because the site used to not really care and everyone was doing it and readers knew what they were getting into when they went there … and then the site changed its policy suddenly, and I still had a few outstanding posts to do with this brand.

So now I’m over here, writing my first-ever, non-charity sponsored post for this site. You know, for the monies.

To be honest, I sort of feel like even the above is making too big a deal over it. It seems pretty much every freaking blog you go to nowadays has some form of sponsored event every now and then, because most people settled this crap in 2008. It’s a business not a school kid’s diary. I used to want to keep this place “clean,” whatever that meant. But I also realize I rarely post here and no one is probably going to really give a shit, except me and my former journalistic morals.

So here goes.

I got a free mattress.

And it fucking rocks.

I wouldn’t give it back for anything.

(Maybe I should work on these sponsored things a little more, because I’m pretty sure the brand won’t be tweeting the above line: “Serta, it fucking rocks!” But who knows. That would be kind of awesome. And let’s face it, what are mattresses for anyway besides, well, you know. Exactly.)

But back to the story.

I don’t know how it is in your family, but my wife and I couldn’t be different sleepers. She likes a super soft mattress that allows her to cuddle up with unicorn dreams in a lollipop forest, while I like something more human –  firmer, bordering on sidewalk, for all the constant tossing and turning I do all night. This has caused more marital strife than I ever thought possible.

Yes, you spend a crazy amount of your life asleep, so I should have known the issue might cause flare-ups, but it was getting sort of ridiculous. And all over something as simple as mattresses.

The first time we bought a mattress together, we got some old one from the thrift store or somewhere. I don’t even remember. We moved into a tiny apartment in downtown Davis and a mattress materialized for us. Economics made a decision for us. When we both grew older and started bringing home actual money, the choices grew more difficult — and the split between us widened. We finally agreed on an eastern king that was, I think, even a little too firm for me. She bought a mattress pad for her side, and I spent 10 years toughing it out. “Oh, it’s fine, it’s fine. Perfect.”

I didn’t realize exactly how un-perfect it was until very recently.

As part of its social media campaign, Serta allowed us to go shop for a free Serta iComfort foam mattress. We removed the old eastern king, discovering we had both carved little burrows into the mattress. Literally, there were two body-shaped holes on our sides, like the kind deer make when they sleep.

“Hmm,” my wife said, “I think we should have flipped this thing more often ….”

Indeed.

When Serta installed its memory foam mattress — the kind without the adjustable box spring, because, well, it felt too hospitaly  — I wasn’t honestly expecting much. We had tried out a lot of different kinds at the store — thick foam, soft foam, dense foam, foam foam — and we never really agreed on the perfect one for both of us. My wife, again, wanted ultra soft, and I wanted something less soft — not quite firm. I had apparently grown more smarterest over the years.

Have you ever gone to a hotel and pulled back the sheets and almost instantly fallen asleep?

That’s what it was like on the first night.

It was weird, I’ll admit, to hop into the foam bed for the first time. I was used to bouncing my way toward the middle, but with this my body just sort of … stopped. I shifted around, feeling the foam cradle around me. I was grateful it didn’t smell like the Temperpedic beds (seriously, who can sleep with that smell?! Does it fade over time? I hope so, otherwise it’s like sleeping on a huffer’s dream) we had tried out, but I wasn’t sure the foam business was for me.

I didn’t realize it actually was for me until the morning, when I popped awake and offered an involuntary, “Ahhhhh.” I had forgotten about the new mattress altogether and could only focus on how awesome I felt. No back pain. Actually rested. I finally moved toward the side, felt the non-give of the foam and thought, “Oh! Mattresses can rock!”

To be honest, my wife is still unsure. She thinks it might be too firm. She might not be a fan of the foam. We’ve given it a solid two weeks now, and I wouldn’t go back. She likes the foam much better than springs, but she thinks maybe we need something softer. Our daughter is sort of pissed off at us, because she can no longer jump on the bed. But she’ll get over it. Potentially.

Ah the family sleep wars. Just when you think it’s over, you realize it’s only another battle. But just try to take this foam thing away from me ….

So there it is. A sponsored post. For the record, because I have to say these things, we received a free mattress out of this deal and a good deal of money. I’ll have at least two more posts after this one, and some Facebook updates about the whole experience, and I think a couple videos too. If all goes well and I don’t feel dirty, I may do other sponsored posts in the future. But the product has to be something I actually use and give a shit about. Seriously, you should see some of the pitches. (My favorite was a site that sold $200 toddler dresses and thought I would be the perfect person to talk about them, even though I still make my daughter dresses out of thrift store fabric. Ha!)